it’s weird that being naked is weird. it is our natural state. we are the only mammals that wear “clothes”. why? why can’t i just run around with my boobs hanging out because i don’t give a fuck about your indecent exposure laws? well….that’s america bbydolls. except were i grew up at the rivers, norcal, go to the rivers, in hippie towns, people are nude and it isn’t a big deal. just chillin…naked….grillin some food, swimming a bit. it don’t matter. chill naked, or don’t. either way…you’re EXCEPTED…and that is what matters….another shot for me! WOOHOO. getting drunk and i love you all <3
I’m going to get fucked out of my mind and then smoke a shit ton of cigarettes and watch skins and say “fuck it” for chris because he was always my favorite and i just don’t give the slightest shit at this point.
i just wanna talk.
Nostalgia’s a bitch
My heart aches, do you realize that? At the sound of your name, the image of your smile, the thought of your touch. I dream about you a lot. And I wake up happy, and the I realize I was only dreaming. I wish you would just talk to me. At least one more time. Tell me what happened. Why it had to happen this way. It has been almost a year. Almost a fucking year. In April, shortly after your birthday. Why was our love not enough for you. Was hers better, or was it just safer. Or was it the love you had all along, and went back and forth, and finally just settled. What was it? I guess I will never know. Until I go home and run into you. Which I plan to do. I already know I want to go to the county fair…god the county fair…sounds so po-dunk but it is…we come from a town in the boonies. And the country fair is the towns most prized event. And I know you will be there. So I will go. Just so I can see you and gloat. Because I will be better by then. My thoughts of you will simply be memories. And I will be okay. I will be okay to smile at you and ask how you guys are doing. And you will smile at me, but with hurt in your heart. Because you didn’t let yourself love the right girl. You chose wrong. I hope everyday you wake up and think about the fact that you chose wrong. And that you ripped my heart out…your supposed best friend….you ripped it out and threw it out like it was nothing. Like it was fucking garbage. You were there…you were there when I wanted to die. When I literally wanted to die. And was shipped to the looney bin (yes I’ve been there a few times, it’s the truth but idgaf who knows it is what it is) well you were there. You let me cry, with my head in your lap and you stroked my hair. Before we left, you offered me a line…and that was the sweetest gesture of all, because you know how bad I needed it. And I cried, and you cried with me. You let me have your sweatshirt. I still have it but I keep it high in my closet so I don’t see it because I don’t want to think of you. You visited me while I was there. You came with my mom. I felt like I should’ve hugged my mom first and longest because she was my mom but all I wanted to feel was you. You were everything to me. I held you so tightly, I never wanted to let go. You guys had bought me crayons and markers and colored pencils like I had asked. And you picked out special psychedelic crayons that were like a gazillion colors in one, and I loved them so much. Because you chose them for me. You chose them. For me. Why would you do this? All of this? Why would you come to a party when I visited when you were sick as shit, when we later found out you had pneumonia, and I took care of you…but why would you let any of this happen and then stop? WHY? I probably will never know. But I loved you. With every ounce of my being, every single cell in my body loved you. I still love you. But I want to stop. I need it to stop. Because it hurts too much. You let me go, right? So why can’t I let you go? I hope you have trouble sleeping at night, knowing how you wronged me. I hope when you’re fucking her you are plagued with thoughts of how she’s the wrong girl…how it should all be me. Because it’s fucking true. You chose wrong. She’s a stupid bitch with a vendetta and always has been. You chose wrong. But I’m going to build the strength to no longer need you, to no longer love you, and when I see you I will be nothing but smiles but you will feel like shit. And you should, you fucking asshole.
Oh, btw, rum is my company tonight<3
well i already know im going to hell
at this point it’s really go big or go home
The rape joke is that at the time,
you didn’t know people had sex to express love.
The rape joke is that the only other person
who’d seen you naked was your mom.
The rape joke is that he called you ‘beautiful’ first.
The rape joke is that he held your hands together
and told you to ‘try harder’ when you struggled.
The rape joke is that you believed him
when he told you were overreacting.
The rape joke is that your grandma
called him a nice boy and asked him to stay for dinner.
The rape joke is that he winked at you
when you apologized to your parents for not coming
downstairs the first time you were called.
The rape joke is that his friends
high-fived him for “getting some.”
The rape joke is that you still don’t feel like
you’ve regrown the pieces he stole.
The rape joke is that he was conceived when his
dad slapped himself into his snoring mother.
The rape joke is that her friends told her
she was lucky someone wanted her.
The rape joke is that each year in the United States,
32,000 other women’s bellies
ripen with life against their will.
The rape joke is that he never learned
to touch without scarring.
The rape joke is that your classmate thinks
‘have you seen what asses look like in yoga pants?’
is an argument.
The rape joke is your new boyfriend kissing
you and telling you he ‘raped’ his math test.
The rape joke is that ‘Why are girls so scared of rape? Y’all should feel pride that a guy risked his life in jail just to fuck you’
is a popular Tweet right now.
The rape joke is that you wake up to
the memory of him laughing,
“now that wasn’t so bad, was it?”
The rape joke is that it’s been twelve years and
you still quiver when someone touches you.
The rape joke is that he hasn’t stopped laughing.
The rape joke is that you forgot how to."
SOCIETY IS FUCKING NAUSEATING(via getithowyahlive)